Alan’s a lawyer at Willkie and Farr

Lisa’s a year out of Downstate

They live in the Westmont on the very same floor

But they only met up in the country

Two dates and he won’t be calling back

[ack ack ack ack ack ack]

You oughtta know by now

"Long pleated skirt, and her hair pulled back

Is that all I get for my money?"

And it seems such a waste of time

If that’s what it’s all about

Just what’s goin’ on when I’m ….goin’ out?

Chani and David are really a treat

The six months that they’ve been together

You see them every Friday night walking on 95th Street

And Shabbos at the Jewish Center

But they’re dating behind one another’s back

[ack ack ack ack ack ack]

You oughtta know by now

"And if he don’t get me a great big rock

At least I’ll be the one who ends it"

And it seems such a waste of time

If that’s what it’s all about

Just what’s goin’ on when I’m …goin’ out?

You can rob the cradle,

No one’s gonna mind

[mind mind mind mind mind]

You oughtta know by now

You can rent a converted room anytime

And that’s all you'll get for your money

And if that’s what you had in mind

If that’s what we’re all about

Good luck, have a good time …goin’ out.