10."Ahh, I found the pitum. Now where did I put my glasses?" Zalmi (cousin of the guy pictured) - London, UK

9. Chhhuh... If I've seen it once I've seen it a gazillion times: As soon as they join the Kiddush Club it's only a matter of time before they start sniffing..Ben Landau, NY, NY

8.It’s mine; it MYYYYYYYYYYYYYY PRECIOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!Barak from Silver Spring

7."Straight pittom, bumpy, matches the color of my tzitzis, looks mehudar to me" E.H. from NYC

6.Rabbi/Surgeon Cohen inspects Madonna’s new Kabbalist breast implants.B Doctorman - Salt Lake City, Utah

5.He saw his wife in a moving car for 10 seconds before the Shidduch was made, here he is checking his etrog for 10 minutes and then wants to bring a friend for a second opinion. Bill G from Edison

4. "So that's where they get the furry stuff they use to package the esrogim." Rob Willon - NY

3.“No matter how hard I stare, I still can’t see the sailboat” Shraig, Brooklyn NY

2.Coming attractions from “Ushpizin 2 The Green Monster” coming to a Shul near you. David Weinbach New York, NY

1. "Hat: $25 Esrog: $125 Jeri-curl peyos: Priceless" Josh from Monsey

From Yitzchak grant London, UK
"Can't see S**T"

From Yitzchak grant London, UK
"Can't see S**T"

From Shauli, Oak Park MI
"It does look like nipple -

From Josh in Monsey
1) "Why the heck do they print the hecksher so small on these things?"
2) "I wish I could find where I left my glasses."
3) Moishe checks the lime for bugs before using it in his afternoon Martini.
4) "Baruch atah... borei pri haetz." Chomp.
5) Hat: $25 Esrog: $125 Jeri-curl peyos: Priceless

From Michael Gonzales
“Hecho en Mexico”? Must be Sephardic.
Wait a minute… this one’s a lemon!
Ahhh smells like Sprite! Not that I would know that Sprite has a sweet lemon-lime citrus smell.
If I’m not mistaken, there are suppose to be 613 dimples on a Kosher etrog. Let me start over. 1, 2, 3…
I can’t tell. Is this an etrog or an oversized, extremely–bumpy lime. Last year I brought home a grapefruit. Oh, if only I can remember where I put my glasses!

From JD NYC
"Oh darn it Shmulkey, you cut the cheese AGAIN?"

From MD Bet Shemesh Israel
“Chaim Yankel! a black one, you see?

From Sol Rosenberg
I can thread this esrog in 7 seconds or less

From sam kru - london
"no i can say vith certainty this is NOT a hand grenade... so lets put it in de chulent den..."
"Nu! lets make a shidduch, your lulav vid my esrog.

From Gabe, Albequerque
"So what do you think, rabbi? Can it be reattached to my lulav?"

From david t. from n. bellmore
Maybe I can use this as my clown nose for halloween

From Zalmi (cousin of the guy pictured!) London
"Ahh, I found the pitum. Now where did I put my glasses?"

From Lel
YUCK!!! YOUR SuPPOSED TO JUST PICK AND CHEW

From Ephraim Shapiro - NY
Jerry, are you sure you washed this piece of fruit?

From JUSTHAINA
caption: Oy could I have used mine loop today! or I hate it when there's a hair in my esrog!

From Aaron Lieber
"Whats he looking so closely for? I can see from here that it is a lemon!"

From Rob Willon, NY
"Four eyes" - "Four Minim".

From David Hoch, New York, NY
"Are you sure it's not a lemon?, It smells like a lemon"

From Chaninah Zweihorn, New York, NY
"Well, from the looks of it Shloimie, this one must be yours."

From Seth
Wow...it tastes like chicken!

From David Weinbach
Coming attractions from “Ushpizin 2 The Green Monster” coming to a Shul near you.

From Beverly
Hmm ... I do believe that crack might be large enough

From Miriam Weissberg
i think the man is searching for blackheads or hes measuring to see whos black heads are bigger his or the esrogs. wants to see if he can use the pittom as a nose digger.

From Ben Landau, NY, NY
Chhhuh... If I've seen it once I've seen it a gazillion times: As soon as they join the Kiddush Club it's only a matter of time before they start sniffing...

From Eric Cohen - NY
oye, now i can breathe much better

From Shraig – Brooklyn, NY
“No matter how hard I stare, I still can’t see the sailboat”

From Marc Daniel, Bushey UK
I Schpy, mit my little eye, someting beginning mit "E"!
I should have gone to "Specsavers" for a pair of free reading glasses!
Ok, it's Kosher, I'll have it in my vodka and lemon tonight!

From H Green
Nu, you're sure this is what I use to make mojitos? The rebbetzin will kill me if I get it wrong again.

From Bill G From edison
He saw his wife in a moving car for 10 seconds before the Shidduch was made, here he is checking his etrog for 10 minutes and then wants to bring a friend for a second opinion.
He married his wife sight unseen, he does not want to make that mistake again.

From Jay Braun - Los Angeles, CA
How to please your esrog

From Norm
"Look there is an Ou symbol here"

From Sherrie Neustein - Queens, NY
ok, if I remember correctly, Kate Moss said, take the good stuff, right up against the nostril, and take a good whif... but did she mean pitom up or down?

From -eph.- New York City
"Gevalt, I think I See a copepod!"

From B Doctorman - Salt Lake City, Utah
Rabbi/Surgeon Cohen inspects Madonna’s new Kabbalist breast implants. “This will bridge my old image with my new” she is quoted.

From Ariella, NY
So what is this, a lemon on speed? Gotta watch it, gotta watch it...

From Stanley Katz
WELL!! DO YOU SEE THE POINT ?
I REALLY DON`T SEE WHAT HE SEES IN HER !
THE WHOLE , IT `S BESIDE THE POINT!!
YOU WANTED A `GREENER`, YOU GOT A GREENER.
LOOK ! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN PIMPLES ALL NEAT AND IN A ROW?
IT`S PERFECT ! I`LL JUST TAKE THIS LITTLE `TAG ` OFF.
WHEN I GET HOME I` LL JUST PUT A SIGN ON IT, `THIS SIDE UP...OR BETTER YET, `SEE OTHER SIDE.!

From Barak in Silver Spring MD.
It’s mine; it MYYYYYYYYYYYYYY PRECIOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!
Okay man! I lent you my esrog, but you told me NOTHING about Frenching it.
Look, give me back my esrog or I’ll show you just why it’s no coincidence the lulav is shaped like a sword

From Isaac Farbowitz, New York
Kosher! That blemish is no bigger than my…..
Ahh Gishmak- It smells like Sur-eh-lah back in the day.
Hey Rabbi, after you are done groping that lemon, why don’t you stick this palm branch right up your….

From Saul J. Stahl - Syracuse, New York
copepods, of course.

From Isaac Tannenbaum
1. I can't see a darn thing - If only I could remember what I did with my glasses!
2. Where'd that spot go, I just saw it - oh! there it is, on my finger.
3. I'm never able to get these encoded message things!
4. Pitch it already, I've been waiting for ten minutes!

From Robert Willon - NYC
1) Weird! This one's got spotty patches of fuzzy stuff on it - The esrog too.
2) So that's where they get the furry stuff they use to package the esrogim.

From E.H. From NYC
"Straight pittom, bumpy, matches the color of my tzitzis, looks mehudar to me"
"Moshie, come have a look at this gigantic green buger i pulled fin mine nose"
"Shmells Like Chicken"