10. "And I can say from personal experience how important that part about adultery is!" Bill Plevan, New York, NY

9. "If someone here shows me a Bible Code predicting the 2008 election results, I might just have an open spot on my cabinet for Secretary of Labor" - D. Shamir Oakland, CA

8. "Could someone bring an erasor? I think he made an error here around commandment number 7." - Yehuda, Jerusalem, Israel

7. "Now I understand why Jews love Chinese food so much - there's a menu in your Torah!" Aric Kabillio, Silver Spring

6. Congressman Wiener (Standing, second from right) ponders, "Why does the one goy in the room get to sit next to the sofer?" Susanne Goldstone, NY

5. "I'm so glad I could be here for the completion of this scroll, and I'd like to thank Albus Dumbledore for joining me." Ezra F. Hollywood, FL

4. "Yes, Mrs. Clinton, this is the section that deals with adultery. From Emile Amzallag, Toronto

3. "Yes, Governor Pataki can do an impressive Hagbah, but today I'm here to convince you that I am ready to lift 5 columns" - Shawn G. LA

2. OK- he’s ready for the reish – who’ll give me $18 for a reish?? Neil Loomer - Edmonton

1. " There's a good reason Bill ain't here with me today." Ira H. NYC

From Bill Plevan, New York, NY
"And I can say from personal experience how important that part about adultery is!"

From Sam Rony
Oh wow, bill transgresed a lot of these commandments....

From Frida Shor
"If your'e not happy and u know it...DONT TAKE A PIC"
" I will not laugh...I will not laugh...Pls Gd..."

From Esther Tauby
meghilat hillary
" this is my contribution to to israel"

From AMF, Far Rockaway
Do I Have to go to the mikva before I write a letter?
V'kara Shma B'Yisroel...Hillary

From Salfeld family
"um, is there a way I can erase something instead of writing?"

From D.G. --Chicago, Il
"so according to this Bill WASN"T allowed to do that!?"

From Akira Ohiso
Bor’chu es Adonay hamivoroch
Rabbi, stop playing footsy.
Rabbi, is that your foot going up my skirt

From Mr. IT Guy, Crown Heights
"Finally i got to see the chronicles of the righ-wing conspiracy"
"when i become president i pledge to make the shira mandatory. i believe everyone should get a chance to sing"
...."i'm dead tired... can't she give her speech later?"
"i will sign a bill authorizing government funding of a sefer torah for social security"
"whatch'you looking at?"

From Stuart Cohnen, New Hempstead, NY
Bill, it quite clearly says "Thou shall NOT commit adultery"

From LEVI
her hidden agenda: rewriting the law
I will speak only my truth so help me god...

From Seth
When I said, "NO PANTS", I meant a skirt.

From Eric Cohen
1. four score and seven years ago....
2. i did not have sexual relations with this man.
3. hey rabbi - can my girlfriend and i have that feather when you're finished with it?
4. ya'amode hamigbiya vihagolel
5. ...yes, gelila is when you roll it up.
6. the real question is whether that's a boy getting bar-mitvahd or Hillary clinton

From Yitz Farbowitz, Teaneck NJ
“so, where exactly are these bible codes that have bill & monica in the same paragraph?”

From Cory Attig
Bar'chu et HaShem Ham'vorach

From Frieda Shor, Brooklyn NYC
1. "Darn, I could be signing my life away..."
2. Takes a village to witness a photo op

From Reuven Chaim Klein
"It says somewhere in here that you aren't allowed to do adultery"
"The bible code says Hillary will win in 2008" Gut Shabbos,

From Lindsay Stricke, NYC
Signing the K'tubah: This one confirms, No Adultery!

From Debra Butensky - Millis, Massachusetts
Gee Rebbe.....this torah scroll is almost as long as the list of girls Bill has shtupped!

From Aharon Fischman
Where is the section on abominations? I want to find Bill..

From ITSMR5012U
I had Bill's Little Black Book transcribed, see? Monica Lewinsky!

From S. KATZ BALTIMORE,MD
LEARNED TO SPELL TWO WORDS, SHTETIL AND SHIKSA

From Yehuda Jerusalem, Israel
1. Hey, those people were right. That adultery thing is in the Bible.
2. Shmulik shouldn't complain so much. Mixed minyanim are common among true New Yorkers like myself.
3. Could someone bring an erasor? I think he made an error here around commandment number 7.

From Ben Doctorman, Salt Lake City, Utah
See Senator, it’s right here. You’ll have to explain to your kissing friend Suah Arafat. Judea and Samaria belong to the Jews!

From Burt Nonesuch Philadelphia, PA
My God, Bill did every single one of them!

From Howard Meyer, Brooklyn
Shomer?? It says you have to be Shomer?!

From Emile Amzallag, Toronto
Mrs. Clinton, this is the section that deals with adultery.

From Robert Katz
WTF?

From Emile Amzallag, Toronto
Mrs. Clinton, this is the section that deals with adultery.

From Ann Beth
"I'll fool these f*ckers just like I'm fooling the rest."

From Neil Loomer - Edmonton
OK- he’s ready for the reish – who’ll give me $18 for a reish

From E.H. from N.Y.C
"Where the #@*$ is Bill, he was supposed to have been here for the *%$#*#& Torah writing, I bet he's with that %$#&@#% Monica..."

From Aric Kabillio, Silver Spring
1. "I swear, I did not have sex with that Rabbi"
2. "And now for something completely unkosher..."
3. "Now I understand why Jews love Chinese food so much - there's a menu in your Torah!"
4. "Hey Hillary, this feather isn't just for writing you know..."

From TUCKER C. THOMAS, N.Y.C.
1) OH! IS THIS WHERE I SIGN THE BOOK OF CONDOLENCES FOR THE RABBI
2) SHOW ME WHERE IT SAYS THAT HAMAN'S WIFE'S NAME WAS HILLARY
3)ES PARSHANDASA V'ES ASPASA V'ES HILLARY
4)TO PROVE THAT I AM A JEW I'LL SHOW YOU THAT I CAN LEIN

Frieda Shor
1. "EXTREME MAKEOVER FOR HILLARY AND DEAD SEA SCROLLS"
1. It takes a village to watch Hillary have a good Kodak Moment.
2. Quills and Quilts--Takes A Village, The Sequel.
3. "Next, Id like a picture near A Harry Potter signing..."
4. (Just take the picture already! This all looks like Hebrew to me anyway")

From Susanne Goldstone, NY
Congressman Wiener (Standing, second from right) ponders, "Why does the one goy in the room get to sit next to the sofer?"

From Howard Meyer
"Where does it say that you can't cheat on your wife, once in a while?

From Ben- Alahna, Ga.
Hillary requests campaign advertisment on the back of the Scroll so half the cong. can see it during Hagba.