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The Kosher Top 10
Top 12 ways you know you went to
CAMP NESHER
by
Josh BenAmi
12. You find the phrase "Nesher nightlife" to be
absolutely hysterical.
11. Tipping is a fireable offense. As is having food in your
bunk.
10. No matter where you are, what you are doing, the phrase
"stop and scoop" makes you bend down and lift up the nearest
piece of garbage
9. You never want to look at another meal of and .
8. Your raids on the last night of camp are planned by the staff.
7. Lake Como pizza is merely an extension of your canteen.
6. You have no idea what "Jericho Dairy" is, but the
second someone says DJ's, you start salivating for ice cream.
5. You do not fear bears, you respect them.
4. Da fraiz "voice kampos" mecks purrfekd cents two yoo.
3. You have 10 high tech computers but only one lousy 24k modem.
2. The thought of actually having a pool sends you into frenzied
ecstasy.
1. When you came here, it was Jeff's camp. Now, it's your
camp.
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From The Friendly Technology Lady, Israel
For all those who can't understand #9, the orginal on was...
9. You never want to look at another meal of [insert protein here] and [insert starch here].
From Cutiehmg@aol.com
You know you went to camp nesher when...
-You know how to take care of your own silence
-You don't know what a CIT is but stop cleaning, sit back and relax when
stampers are mentioned
-You unlink arms with your friends when Batya comes up during shal shudas
-You know all the daycamp kids by name, and who their parents are
-you'll hike a mile or two for a flurry
-You were heartbroken when Jonny Shlagbaum quit the choir
-At the end of L'Shana HaBa'a during Melavah Malkah a bunch of girls start
screaming "____ more weeks!"
-You answer Nesher trivia questions for Isaac points during meals
-The only reason you go to computers is to get out of the rain/heat
-You found out your color war score by Bridgette making a fool out of herself
-Your color war breakout doesn't involve anything cool at all (except for
when Shorty got "lost")
-While wandering around camp you hear people randomly bursting into song
-The boy campers are hotter than the boy counslers (It's raining men!)
-You're scared of that "empty" box on the office porch
-You know that Nesher is actually in Italy
-You know who the office eye candy is
-You never saw Legally Blonde 2 but you know what a snap cup is
-Eidah Gimmel is not the sixth graders but the old kids
-The Torontonians outnumber the Americans
-You think Philly is either the ghetto or Amish town
-You don't play neucomb, you play volleyball (and who wouldn't with Fabian as
your teacher?)
-You get up up up and into bed
-You find yourself saying "I wanna go HOME!" constantly….. after camp is over
You know you're in Nesher choir when...
-You start cracking up when you hear "chazak" (shazak)
-You refuse to look at Zevi during recordings b/c you don't want to be "that
girl who messed up or 40th take"
-When Daniel Henkin's mentioned you starting chanting "Spankin Henkin, how's
it hanging?"
-You're shabbos afternoon hangout is the picnic benches with Daniel and the
Flatbush people
-You know why Jonny Shlagbaum REALLY quit the choir
-You know that Zevi's room is the coolest place in camp (but that's not
really limited to choir people)
-You find it totally normal that people start doing ballet during practices
(and you probably start dancing along)
And you know you were a Stamper at Camp Nesher when...
-You're hoarse from yelling at the B8 and 9 campers
-You're hoarse from yelling at people to start cleaning
-You're hoarse from yelling at your fellow stampers
-You're hoarse from yelling at people to put away the benches after shal
shudas
-You're hoarse from yelling at Hannah to stop singing/making new schedules
-Your favorite quote is "the floor is MWAH!"
-You're close personal friends with Chippy the Chipmunk
-You can't remember who David, Daniel and Jonathan are
-(girls) You spend your shabbos afternoons ranting to your friends while in
the specialty bunk
-You can't remember the names of the people in your bunk
-You've stopped wearing nice clothes on shabbos
-You call for Frankie when you see an empty box 'cuz you're bored
-Your mornings consist of either sorting mail in the office or sleeping
-You're constantly saying "Negatory on the wifebeaters" and "We went to
Canada! We went to Canada!" and you're always doing the Ilan Scolnik dance
-You're flirting consists of batting your eyelashes and asking if they want
more
-Before serving the Tellers and Levi you do a quick check to make sure
Ethan's not looking
-Ultimate Frisbee and neucomb are your favorite pastimes
-(girls) You've said you'll start a diet a million and one times… a day
-You can't remember why you thought Teri was mean
-You've danced with the international staff to the Backstreet Boys
-You know all the International staffs names and where they come from
-(girls) Your favorite costume is "the G11 girl"
-Someone says "Good Morning angels" and you reply "morning Bob"
-Elisha is your baby
-When Jeff stands up to thank people you're always expecting to hear "and
thanks to the stampers WHO WORK for Teri...
-You're always accusing people of using you for your food
-The best shabbat-o-gram you got was a 5x10 foot one
-You hate a certain first month B8 stalker with a passion
-Your favorite part of Melavah Malkahs is the Anachnu Maamenim dance… and
serving ice cream
-you've heard the Flatbush cd, that acapella cd and the blue fringe cd a
million times, but you just can't get enough
-You know why Josh Chaitovsky never gets out of his golf cart
-You blame Hannah and Rachael for everything
-You laugh when you think about how this years G12 and B10 had to go to
Virginia
-Your diet consists of fruit by the foots and peanut butter
-(girls) You got your eyebrows waxed on your day off
-You know that you're a slave (and one of the biggest mistakes of Jeff's
life) but you still pity everyone else for never getting to be stampers
From G12 on 'the other side/left side'
Great job, but here are a few more...
- You know that all tzadikim shuckle, but they don't all have payis.
- You know who Batman is, and why they called him that (not anymore)
- Go bananas, go go bananas!
- You still sing color war alma maters from two years ago on the last shabbat, after adon olam
- You've had the same head counselor every year
- Food is against the rules, but everyone has it anyways, and eats it in the open
- You know that once upon a time, 10th grade actually went to Virginia as a trip, not just a back up because of the nine days
- The yellow color war team always wears nesher shirts, who in their right mind has a yellow shirt?
- You've mistaken either Sharon or Liz for a camper (or maybe both)
- You don't know where the word 'gesher' fits into z'mirot on motzai shabbat
- You can't wait to be a pre-counselor and make $500 a summer
- You can relate with almost everything posted on this list, plus everyone else's list
And last, but not least,
- Walmart was the best trip you had in your 2 months there
I miss all you nesher peoples! See you all next year!
From Counselor
You know you're in Nesher
..when shabbos z'mirot are sung in perfect 12 part harmony...
..when "trucks" visit your campus at night...
..when you can't tell the difference between the Yachad campers and the Nesher campers...
..when the "Wellness Center" is more well stocked than your local emergency room..
..when getting markered is an appropriate punishment for midriff/short shorts/shomer negiah infractions...
..when even the campers who are homesick like crazy manage to pull out a million-dollar smile for Sheldon the cameraman...
and last but not least...
..when you're sitting at home with your family at the end of a meal and you break out into "Bus Bus Bus...na na na, you are you are out of here!" while pulling the lace tablecloth (along with the china) into the garbage
From DIE HARD MARCOS AND HARRY FAN
you forgot the most important way of knowing your at nesher:
You get Goosebumps when Marcos and Harry sing "for the longest time"
From Camperette, Eidah Gimmel
You guys did a great job, but you need a
camper's view.
A couple things you left out...
- You know what day of the week it is by the
breakfast served
- Cheering about bananas is usual
- You know who gets dumped in the lake, and
watch it happen
- You've never successfully answered all 5
(8) trivia questions correctly
- Eating pizza at 1:30am is totally normal
- You came home from camp, and didn't
understand when the blackout was.
- La Cucaracha is heard at mifkad, for those
who go
- Your're the only camp with a yearbook
- You have experiance in plunging toilets
- mudsliding is an illegal sport
- You lived though the Flevas epidemic
- You expect rain every shabbat
- The camp took you to a Chabad house for a
trip (The Farbreng Inn)
From Nesherian -
Three Letters- CNR
From: Old Timer
Three Letters- CNR
From Camper, Eidah Gimmel
More....
- Ice Cream parties are always " tofutti parties"
- Hearing a fog horn being blown by the lake is normal
- Before trip day you stay up late all night cutting up the Nesher shirt trying to make it look cool
- At staff intermurals the only ones watching the games are the international staff
- your best friends with all the international staff
- Kislak is counted as a trip
From: Staff #1
1- We may lose every sports intercamp, but if there was a singing
competition, our kick-ass staff choir would beat everyone!!
2- You don't think it's so weird to shower in the lake on Friday
afternoon, due to the annual blackout.
3- You scoff at those people in Moshava wearing shorts down to their
knees. (Nesher has a dress code?)
4- Whenever you sing Aleinu, your feet automatically bang down at the
appropriate times.
And you know you're a Die-Hard Nesherite when...
- You can recite along with Jeff his "Choices...it's like two
railroad tracks" speech word for word.
- You'd rather hang out at night in the back office with Jeff, Ester, and
Isaac than anywhere else.
- Your picture is hanging up in the back office.
- You take pride in the fact that your family is winning the unspoken
competition of Who Can Get the Most Family Members to Come To Camp Nesher
contest.
- On visiting day, you wear the old school staff polo shirt with the
eagle on the front.
From Gabby and Talia
Hey Guys, this list is awesome, but you left out a few. luv you guys!
1. It doesn't seem strange to you at all when a group of 20 post-adolescent
boys surround you and start to sing "you are my sunshine" with
perfect harmony, while dancing in a circle.
2. No matter where you are, you constantly hear the words "ja da din
din jow."
3. It's okay for girls to have solos as long as they wear skirts to
davening.
4. You're left alone with 16 little monsters, because your co-counselor
has suddenly come down with a terrible case of FLEVUS.
5. Your $10 dollar rain boots you bought at Walmart on your day off are
the only shoes you'll be needing this summer as to avoid a tragic drowning
incident.
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