From
Allison Goldman
1. Hey, that wasn't Kofi Annan. It was My Monkey Cloud!!!
2. Shacharit must be completed in exactly 36 minutes! (said every weekday morning) but u know they really means 26 mins... and yes, it can be done.
3. You miss Roz's place for the all you can eat food, but not necessarily for the food itself.
4. You believed Mica when he said that you would use up all your meal points. Now you're stuck with $600 to spend on food in the Sabra Grill and only two weeks to spend it... so that's how many pounds of meat? 60?
5. You heard there's some school named Goucher somewhere in Maryland, although you don't really believe it because the only person you ever met from there spends more time at UMD Hillel than you do.
6.You go to Frat Row but not for the fraternities.
7. Wait? Minyan starts at 9:30 on shabbos? How am I supposed to wake up that early after another night glued to the Johnny Walker on Frat Row.
8. You can tell the difference between Yosef Simcha and Yiztchak Singer... and you know who is older.
9. You go to davening only to hear Benji's announcements.
10. You love Yankel, but you're not quite sure who he is.
FRUM Mimi and Naomi:
1. Prospective Shabbaton takes place every weekend when friends
"visit" from Stern/YU
2. All your friends in other schools
always seem to be doing this thing called "work", yet you
aren't really sure what that entails
3. You know the difference between a
"knox box" and a "nosh box"
4. Although DC is ten minutes away, your
social life revolves around TCBY and Wawa
5. One of the reasons you wanted to go to
Maryland was proximity to a city, yet you spend every weekend
arguing about whether to go to Nuthouse or Ben Yehuda
6. The only non-Jew you interact with is
Janie
7. You can't spend any time learning
because all your free time is consumed with stalking basketball
players at late night
8. On Chagim there are more
students than members of the community in KMS
FRUM Guy
Emanuel:
Your only reason for working the front desk at Hillel is to get
"first dibs on the cute yids"
