These are the collected writings of the Simpsons from the chalkboard exercises that Bart writes during the opening credits.
- I will not carve gods.
- I will not spank others.
- I will not aim for the head.
- I will not barf unless I'm sick
- I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
- I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
- I will not conduct my own fire drills.
- Funny noises are not funny.
- I will not snap bras.
- I will not fake seizures.
- This punishment is not boring and pointless.
- My name is not Dr. Death.
- I will not defame New Orleans.
- I will not prescribe medication.
- I will not bury the new kid.
- I will not teach others to fly.
- I will not bring sheep to class