Top Ten Disengagement Definitions from the Mind of the Single Jew

9. Roadmap – Printing out MAPQUEST directions for best route to get to date's house somewhere in Monsey

8. Borders – Cheap first date. Great books. Reading children's books to eachother is adorable.

7. Pull Out – Claiming to have a "headache" 20-minutes into date

6. Security Fence – Best friend who is really interested in your date for themselves and blocks all your advances with subtle comments like, "Why would you want to date someone like that?"

5. Negotiations – Having these about the bill on the first date, will ensure that there will be no second date

6. Occupied – Currently wasting my time dating someone that will obviously not work out

5. Activist – That annoying guy who is so interested in doing cool things on the date, he forgets his date

4. Timetable – Planning engagement so you can have a summer wedding, winter baby, and still goto HASC this summer

3. Unauthorized Outposts – People you hate posting on your onlysimchas engagement annoucement

2. Settlement – What "dating" is called when the one person you've always been in love with gets engaged