10. The Sfuganiot are filled with something, but it sure ain't jelly
9. You get there and it's just you, a plate of latkes, and a guy dressed up as Santa.
8. The music stops until Joe Lieberman rehits the Demo button on the Casio keyboard
7. Menorah looks alot like a bunch of flash lights duck-taped to a car bumper
6. Host generously offers his cigarette as a shamash
5. Party is dubbed 'Saddam Hussaine's Rockin' Eve'
4. Immediately after the candlelighting party breaks into a 2 hour awkward silence
3. Latkes are served in a soup bowl with a ladle
2. The guys in the room have enough grease in their hair to keep a menorah burning all year round.
1. Alas, there was not enough alcohol to last for even one night..