10. You hear someone say, "These Hamentashen are the bomb!"; and everyone ducks for cover
9. Everyone seems to be wearing either a Tom Selleck or Rollie Fingers costume
8. You use the cheesy Purim pickup line: "This could be our last night on earth together" and mean it
7. Really frum Iraqis travel to Baghdad to celebrate Shushan Purim in walled city
6. For some reason, the megillah suddenly has Achashverosh marrying all the pageant contestants
5. Drunkards can't tell the difference between Arror Bush and Arror Sharon
4. Instead of graggers, guests fire live ammo, which is apparently more "mihudar the mitzvah"
3. Party never regains momentum after host reveals Purim punch spiked with Biological Weapons
2. Everyone already preboozed at the Baghdad Chabad
1. Party's climax: Host gets hung