Top 10 Reasons For Being French
- When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
- Experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.
- You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
- If there's a war you can surrender really early.
- You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
- You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
- You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
- Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
- You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street.
- People think you're a great lover even when you're not.
Top 10 Reasons For Being American
- You can have a woman president without electing her.
- You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
- You can call Budweiser beer.
- You can be a crook and still be president.
- If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.
- If you can breathe you can get a gun.
- You get to be really obese.
- You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
- You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"
- You can think you're the greatest nation on earth.
- When you're not.
- At all.
Top 10 Reasons For Being English
- Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah.
- Proper beer.
- You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
- You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
- Union jack underpants.
- Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.
- You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
- Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not.
- Ditto changing underwear
- Beats being Welsh. 10a. Or Scottish
Top 10 Reasons For Being Italian
- In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
- Unembarrassed to wear fur.
- No need to worry about tax returns.
- Glorious military history prior to 400 a.d.
- Can wear sunglasses inside.
- Political stability.
- Flexible working hours.
- Live near the Pope.
- Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.
- Country run by Sicilian murderers
Top 10 Reasons For Being Spanish
- Glorious history of killing South American tribes.
- The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.
- You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc.
- The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
- Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing.
- Honesty
- Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls
- You get to eat bulls' testicles.
- Gibraltar.
- Supported Argentina in Falklands War.
Top 10 Reasons For Being German
Top 10 Reasons For Being Indian
- Chicken Madras
- Lamb Passanda
- Onion Bhaji
- Bombay Potato
- Chicken Tikka Masala
- Rogan Josh
- Popadoms
- Chicken Dopiaza
- Meat Boona
- Kingfisher lager
Top 10 Reasons For Being Welsh
- You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?
Top 10 Reasons For Being Irish
- Guinness.
- 18 children because you can't use contraceptives.
- You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road.
- Pubs never close.
- Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in the second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on.
- No one can ever remember the night before.
- Kill people you don't agree with.
- Stew.
- More Guinness.
- Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.
Top 10 Reasons For Being Canadian
- It beats being an American.
- Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
- You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
- Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
- Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
- A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.
- Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
- Kill Grizzly bears with huge fuckoff shotguns and cover your house in their skins.
- Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
- Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
Top 10 Reasons For Being Australian
- Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bastard that no civilised nation on earth wanted.
- Fosters Lager
- Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you.
- Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV.
- Tact and sensitivity.
- Bondi Beach.
- Other beaches.
- Liberated attitude to homosexuals.
- Drinking cold lager on the beach
- Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.
Top 10 Reasons For Being Dutch
- having the best football team every four years and never win the world cup
- make lousy beer, but still manage to sell it to the entire world
- if you can breathe you can get marijuana
- get to collect the best recipe's from all over the world, cause you can't cook yourself
- beat the English at the sports they invented
- you can hate the Germans all your life, collaborate with them for five years and go back to hating them again
- pretend water is your best friend in the summer and fight it all winter.
- have all kinds of foreigners over and welcome them in their native language so they never learn Dutch
- live in the less densely populated area of the world in July, cause everyone is in France
- practice a sport no one else does and act happy when winning five gold medals at the Olympics
Top 10 Reasons For Being Scottish
- Haggis
- Never having to worry about buying a ticket to watch their nation in the World Cup after the qualifying rounds
- If you can breathe you can talk gibberish
- Hate the English (especially after watching Braveheart)
- Billy Connally
- Drink whisky better than the English
- Never have to worry about understanding cricket
- Trainspotting (the film)
- Wear a kilt with pride … not just for fashion
- Wear anything with pride … even though it isn't fashion
- You have so much naturally beautiful water in supply, that your neighbours steal it and sell it back to you at premium price.
- You have so much oil in supply, that your neighbours steal it and sell it back to you at premium price.
- A brilliant ability to count from a very young age.