10. Sheik Hassan Nasrallah’s 3rd attempt to make “Mile High club” with donkey put on permanent hold
9. Finally a night when Suha Arafat isn’t the only one “gettin’ bombed” in the first class lounge
8. Annoying metal detectors no longer detecting small things like nail clippers, belt buckles and missile launchers
7. Iran Air offering upgrades to all Al Quaeda, Hezbollah and Hamas members
6. Runways named “holiest” site in all of the Middle East
5. “Meshaal puts The Dumb-Ass in Damascus” tshirt – top giftshop seller
4. As usual, all Shoe-Bomber shoe shines are free!
3. More bomb/leg room for all first class terrorists
2. Thanks to Israel, Hezbollah Frequent Flyer Mileage will be valid for a very limited time
1. With the airport in ruins flying the Friendly Skies has really become a whole lot friendlier
———
DVD Extras:
– Airline Hijacking class moved to wednesdays
– All flights will be rerouted to Iran. As always
– Flights being delayed have a good reason other than the usual bomber had premature ejectulation
– All Mileage now exchangeable for Pink Floyd tickets
– At least now, all unattended suspicious bags have been “taken care of”
– No more stop-overs in airports, now planes can fly directly into buildings!
– The Beirut Airshow will be able to do it’s redition of World Trade Center Crash and Burn Finale into their own flight tower
– Terrorist Frequent Flyer mileage will not be transferable to bus bomb mileage
– Airport can be renamed: Hezbowl-of-sh-t
– No Smoking/bombing in building rules lifted
– Iran bomb/rockets can be delivered to Hizbollah directly on airport, instead of at airport.