“The Yentas Are Coming”
by Sheri Bernstein
Have you heard the news going ‘round the blocks?
The one about
They say he bought it on sale,
That his dinner guests turned quite pale,
After eating salmon
That came from a can
A meal far worse than un-kosher ham.
Did you hear about Sara so sick with the flu
Coughing and wheezing and turning so blue?
Hygiene is her problem—they say, they say
It is said she sleeps in a barn full of hay
Whatever you do, don’t give her a hug
Or you just might catch her fatal bug!
They say there’s a boy who is so shy
He cannot look anyone in the eye,
They say it’s a shame
Because he’ll never get a dame
They say, they say—wait a second,
That he is me!!!
The truth is I talk to whoever I like,
Like my good friends Harry and Mike.
Aw geez, I hate it when my tongue gets all tied,
By the pretty girl going off on a bike ride
But those women who come to your house and your home
The ones who drool like a dog for its bone
For a juicy bit of news to hear
Just watch them draw their eager ears near
They may tell you your secret’s safe with them
Clucking their tongues like a Mother hen
But don’t trust them I beg you heed
Yentas only make hearts bleed
So turn off your lights and lock the door,
The Yentas are coming evermore
Don’t say a word to these two-faced gals
Who only pretend that you are the best of pals
They’ll take your words and mutate them so
Until heartache is all you will know!
The Yentas are coming, The Yentas are coming
Did you hear what I said?
So just be quiet and go to bed!!!