10. Team's strong defense constantly confused with uneccessary offense
9. Only allowed to score proportionately to opponent
8. Kicking anything is immediately considered state sponsored terror
7. Chief Referee: Richard Goldstone
6. Constantly occupying opponents net
5. When team calls time out, UN calls emergency session
4. Whole team given red cards just for showing up
3. The Black and White ball is grey to rest of the world
2. Always considered offsides
1. Who needs a World cup when you've already got a Yiddishe one?
FIFA? We're better at figuring out FIFO