For women to say to men on Friday Nights:
A Man of Valor, who can find? We're just asking for someone with a full head of hair
2 – His wife's heart trusts his credit, and he won't lack any fortune, so long as he doesn't marry a girl from long Island.
3 – He brings no harm since he is whipped, all the days of his life
4 – He seeks out wool and linen….hey wait a second isn't that like assur?
5 – He is like a Merchant ship, picking up girls at bars on the East and West side
6 – He gets up while it is still night, while he's still in that analyst program over at Goldman Sachs
7 – He chooses a house in Teaneck and buys it, paying off the mortgage with the fruits of his (in-laws) labor
8 – With strength, he builds our book shelves from Ikea. When people ask where we got them from, he says Ethan Allen, without batting an eyelash
9 – He discerns that he will have to work until his late 60's in order to make sure that his kids can all go to college and get a good shiduch, and so his lamp is never snuffed out at night ( i just wanted to say snuffed)
10 – He stretches out his hand to put down the toilet seat, and his Palmolive does the dishes.
11 – He opens his Palm pilot to figure out the best place to go for dinner and waves his hand in a gesture that says, no need to worry about the 5 dollar signs posted on Vindigo!
12 – He has no fear of the snow for his family, because ski conditions at Killington are good and all of his family is dressed in North Face.
13 – He never makes the bed, but that's okay since he let's you pick out his clothes
14 – His wife is well known at the shul, where she has the finest hats and a wig made by Ralf himself
15 – He trades stocks and security bonds; his clientele supply him with season tickets center court, so I can go see chick flicks with my girl friends
16 – Strength and fitness are not his trademark, instead, he wears his bear belly with pride, as do all the other married men at shul
17 – He opens his mouth with something to say, but I quickly cut him off
18 – He doesn't know anything about housework, but then again, neither do I, since we have live–in help. Wait a second, which dishes are milchig again?
19 – His children stand up and ask him for spending cash, his wife lauds him as they are the finest dressed in all the shul
20- Many men have amassed achievement, but none of them have been the shul president for as many consecutive terms as you
21- False is charm and good looks, that's why you see so many Jewish couples that make you ask: "what's she doing with him?"
22- Give him some credit for supporting the family and let him play Playstation instead of dragging him to another friend's l'chaim