Seder Sidekick 2003

Always start your Passover seder with a song: Here is one….
The Matzah Show (to the Theme of the Muppet Show)

It's time to burn some chometz
It's time to bless the lights
It's time to start the seder, on the Matzah Show tonight

Now, as you get ready to start, check out your dad’s threads:
Q. What’s with the kittul (white cloak worn by males), this ain’t yom kippur?!
A. Seders have a way of being waaaay too fun, (i.e.. 4 cups of wine, wacky songs about goats, and Afikomen robbery) The kittel, the garment that we wear on serious occasions like Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashana, your wedding and burial day, reminds us that while having a blast, don’t forget the serious halachot (laws) that are required from us of this spiritual seder night! Speaking of “spiritual”, we also have this gear on to dress the part of an angel – All white, all spiritual, all the time (Anaheim Angels jersey’s were equally acceptable in ‘02)  The Kli Yakar has the most amazing following explanation: the whole reason we were in Egypt in the first place was the jealousy over the Colored Coat of Joseph. We demonstrate our remorse for that resentment the brothers had for one another, by simply wearing white!

Bored Already?
Here are Ten Quick Cheesy Ways to Enhance your Seder
10. Two Words:  Plague Charades
9.   Preface every paragraph by saying "DID YOU KNOW…"
8.   Go around the table mentioning which of the 4 sons you'd like to date
7.   Sing Dayanu to the tune of Labamba (Di, Di, Di, Di Di Aynu!)
6.   To get kids really asking questions, cancel Seder… in favor of Séance
5.   Come up with alternative uses for "Shank Bone"
4.   Promise $1000 to the first kid who finds Moshe's name in the Haggadah twice
3.   Ask, "If you were an Egyptian stranded on an island, and you could only have one plague for the rest of your life which one would it be?"
2.   Haggadah  "Taboo" (taboo words: Slaves, Free, Plague, Outstretched)
1.   Spontaneous Seder Table Wave

KADESH: Happy Hour(s) begins

Q. “Red, Red, Wine….Stay close to me”  – Why Red Wine, Bob?
Sure there is the whole symbolic “looks like blood” thing (Jewish slaves or Pascal Lamb? You make the call)- but the Ishbitzer Rav gives a novel interpretation: Wine, is the product of a long process (the longer it takes, the more expensive!) From the grape to the bottle, it goes through some long hard processes. So too, the Jewish Nation also requires a long process toward perfection:  Egyptian slavery, then the desert, then centuries of exile and persecution. We’ve been through a lot.  But says the Ishbitzer, just like wine, the results will be sweet. This is precisely why we always use wine for all of our holidays, a constant reminder to this idea (and is the reason why if no wine is available on shabbos, one should make Kiddush on the challah, as bread too is an amazing product of a long hard process) Cheers!

Q: Drinking is for Purim not Pesach?
Don’t get bummed if you can’t hold your wine. The Avnei Nezer feels that Pesach is a continuation to Purim. When the Talmud (Ta’anit 29a) says “When entering Adar, Increase your simcha”, Rashi explains that it applies to both months of redemption, Adar and Nissan. This is a good explanation why we celebrate Purim during the second Adar in a leap year: to keep Purim and Pesach next to each other. Therefore, says the Avnei Nezer, the wine is a continuation of the celebration of Purim. But know when to say when, four cups is enough!  

Q: Why does Judaism always start meals with wine?
Wine is a drink that lightens the mood and loosens people up (God knows we need all 4 cups especially with all our family on Pesach). Our sages even say that: "There is no simcha, (joyous occasion) without wine." However a fundamental lesson we can take away from Kadesh, is that Judaism believes that part of our goal in life is to find the holiness and spirituality in everything in this world. To sanctify that which is mundane. The word "Kadesh" can also mean to separate. To mikadesh the night with wine is to make this night, and this cup something separate, something special, something unique. Wine is just a regular drink. But by sanctifying wine, we are showing that we can live in the physical world, and enjoy it, while at the same time find holiness into that very same experience. If we use wine in the correct manner and at the correct time, it can provide the physical and spiritual high we all are longing for. L'Chaim.

URCHATZ

A familiar song  to sing while you wash:
You put your right hand in,
 You put your right hand out,
You put your right hand in and you wash it all about,
you do the Hamotzei Pokey and you dry off your hands
That’s what urchatz is all about!  Huh, where’s the Bread?

Wait, why are we washing our hands for vegetables?
At this point, you may think to yourself, “IM GONNA BE FREAKIN STARVING!” knowing this from past seders, you may feel the need to munch down on as much Carpas as humanly possible. (Carpas Eating Champion Seder ‘98) but tonight you are a free man, you are not a slave. That includes being a slave to your stomach! So we push off our appetizer, and wash our hands to demonstrate that we are not slaves to our impulsive eating habits. Rav Nachman of Breslov says the Hebrew word  “Rachitz” in Aramaic means “Trust”, because we should trust in Hashem, as we wash now, that no matter what our meal consists, of even if its just a little parsley twig, that G-d’s “got our back” when it comes to the nourishment and survival of the Jewish people, and there is more in store for us; namely some good brisket.

Story:  When Rav Itzeleh Wooker observed one of his students grabbing for the largest piece of potato, he said to him “How can tonight be a night of celebrating freedom, if you are still an Eved  to a Potato!”   (side note: great band name “Potato Slave”)

Q. Why Wash?
Let your HANDS take the first step, nose ahead, do the talking:
R’ Yitzchak Mirsky, in his Hegyoni Halachah Haggadah, writes about the significance of Urechatz– of the additional washing of one’s hands before eating vegetables on the night of the Seder.  In Mesachet Sottah 4B it says, “one who takes the Mitzvah of washing one’s hands lightly will be removed from the world.” The Ba’er Hatav comments that even if one is normally vigilant about washing his hands before eating bread  (and the Maateh Yosef  says that this also applies to washing before eating vegetables), but disregards this Mitzvah purposely just one time, he is still liable to the punishment set forth in the Gemarah.

At this time of beginning and renewal, R’ Mirsky concludes, it is essential to remind ourselves of the importance of a correct beginning in any action and endeavor we undertake- something which is symbolized by the additional washing of our hands at the Seder. (Matt Kreiger, Monroe, NY)

KARPAS

Springtime for Karpas
Anyone ever notice that Passover is in the springtime?  This was no coincidence; in fact it was a blessing. G-d could have taken us out of bondage in the cold of winter or the heat of summer, but instead G-d took us out in perfect weather, Spring!  The color green of karpas reminds us of this small detail, and helps us recognize that G-d went  “above and beyond” in every aspect of our redemption, even the weather forecast.

Excuse me, Did you just double dip?
An interesting remembrance of dipping twice is to recall our coming and going from Egypt. Recall the first Jew to Egypt, Yosef, was sold by his brothers. They masked the sale to their father by dipping his coat in blood to appear that he was killed. It’s fitting then that we left Egypt with a second dipping: the hyssop branch into blood to spread on our doorways before the final plague to the firstborn. Good thing, nowadays, we just use salt water…  

K-ar-p-a-s: Give me a Kaf, Give me a Reish…..
The letters of the word Karpas hint to us to be giving people:

wise crack: If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

YACHATZ

Breaking Up is Hard to do
Yachatz means “Break apart”, Yachad means “Come together”, the only letter difference are the ending letters Daled and Tzadik, which makes sense, since that spells “Dates.” (Bangachuver Rav discourses)

The Incredible, Edible Egg!
Sure it’s high in protein, but there has got to be a better reason to take an Egg-break. Bang this: an Egg is one of the few foods that hardens when you heat it up. So are the Jews – The slavery and persecution we have endured throughout the years has only strengthened our longevity and eternal connection with Hashem. Want my yolk?

MAGGID
 (translation: get comfortable)

Q. Why don't we make a specific blessing on Sipur Yetzias Mitzraim (Telling over the story of Egypt)? It’s a MITZVAH! Right?  A well-known answer to this question is that there is no end (“Ayn Sof”) to the amount that one can say. However Sfas Emes says something different:  He asks similarly, why don't we make a bracha on tzedaka (charity) or Kibud Av (Honoring one’s parents)?  Because these are things that come second nature to us, things that we know are good by nature and don't need a brocha to remind us of them (Mitzvas Sichli).  The same applies to sipur tetzias mitzraim.  It's such an amazing Nais (miracle), that it's ingrained in us so that we don't need a bracha to make it something holy, just like tzedaka and honoring ones parents. Its intrinsic. (Michael Parker, LA)  

To keep your seder up to speed, here are:
Top Ten similarities between Operation Iraqi Freedom and the Passover Story
10. The UN repeatedly asked Sadam to "Let his Weapons Go"
9. Both Moses and George W. Bush have trouble with public speaking
8. Surprisingly when the Jews and Iraqis are given freedom, a lot said they'd rather stay where they are
7. The Egyptians hid their gold, the Iraqis hid their chemicals 
6. The Hagaddah covered the entire Passover story, CNN/Fox/MSNBC covered Iraq
5. US warplanes are raining from the sky in place of hail
4. Both stories rely on the leadership of a Chief of Staff
3. George Bush follows in his father's footsteps, Maaseh Avos Siman L'Banim
2. It is still unknown if Pharoah and Sadam survived their downfalls
1. The #1 plague in both stories was: (Sa)Dam  

"I understand the importance of bondage between parent and child." – Dan Quayle.

Is there any point in this “All night learning in Bnei-Brak”?  Throw me a bone here! (shankbone preferably)
Toward the beginning of Magid, we learn of 5 Rabbis (Rabbi Eliezer, Rabbi Yehoshua, Rabbi Elazar Ben Azaryah, Rabbi Akiva, and Rabbi Tarfon) who sat up all night in B’nei Brak discussing the seder, until their students came to inform them that it was time to say the morning “Kriat Shema.”  The length of their exposition is extraordinary unto itself, but even more amazing when you see who these Rabbis are.  Their names appear throughout the Talmud, so it is no surprise that they can engage in lengthy discourse on matters of Judaism.  But this particular conversation was important, because as they went over the Haggadah, telling of how Hashem had saved their forefathers, they could have technically been called liars.  See, none of them were descended from slaves.  All of their ancestors had either been converts, who obviously had not been in Egypt at the time, or from the tribe of Levi (including Kohanim), which Egypt had exempted from slavery, as the Priestly class.  So while we are commanded to see ourselves as if we, today, were being brought out of Egypt like our forefathers, these Sages would have thought back to their ancestors’ lives of relative luxury!  How could they possibly be so involved in a story that didn’t directly concern them or their family!

From here, we learn a powerful lesson about Passover, and ourselves.  The Jewish people is one entity- though we have different names, and occupy (vastly) different branches of the family tree, we are still inter-connected, and our fates inextricably tied to one another.  If one Jew suffers, than it is incumbent upon all of us to alleviate that suffering. (Of course, though possibly on a different level, the same applies to all mankind- we share our world and origins, and are required to help anyone we can).  Something that happens to our proverbial neighbor most definitely concerns us.  This unity of experience, and consequent unity of purpose, should drive us every day, just as it drove those Rabbis, who rather than saying, “At least my family wasn’t enslaved,” proclaimed, “My people was enslaved- my brethren were oppressed- let us celebrate their redemption and ours, and let us pray for G-d to redeem us again!”

And indeed that is the lesson of Passover- the Jewish people seem to be the most adept in the world at drawing lines between one Jew and his fellow.  We incorrectly allow our external differences to indicate that we are different inside, as well- and thus we are enslaved by our own conflicts.  Let us learn the lessons of the seder- free ourselves from our self-imposed slavery by recognizing that unity in our people can bring the ultimate redemption. (Steven Schwartzberg, Texas)

4 sons:
Do you know One? How about Three sixty six?
Got Math? Let’s see:
Jews don’t do violence – what’s with knocking out the wicked son’s teeth? It’s to teach him a lesson. The numerical value of Rasha (Wicked) is 570. The numerical value of Tzadik (Righteous) is 204. Q: What’s the difference between the two?  A: The wicked son’s teeth! (Sheinav) 366. The Wicked son is sitting at the seder table and not listening to the story or the message of Passover. He is actively excluding himself with his statements (“What is this that you are doing?”) What do you do to get him to stop making snide remarks? Keep him quiet by taking out his teeth. If the Wicked son lost his teeth (570-366=…) he’d pay attention to the miracles, begin to understand why we are doing the seder, and maybe get a big righteous (204!)  

The Missing Son: The Lubovitcher Rebbi always said there is a fifth son we must also teach, that is the son who doesn’t even make it to the seder table dinner.  Here are 10 more missing sons not found in the seder:

Top Ten Sons left out of the Passover Seder:
10. The "30-year-old-still-single" Son, If he would just get a date, Dayienu
9.  The Brovender's Daughter just home for Pesach, ready to prove she's smarter than all 4 sons put together
8. The Alcoholic Son, "Can we get a little more wine in this Charoset please?"
7. The "Watching TV during the 2nd Seder" Son, who just announced he is making aliyah (after learning the NHL playoffs conflict)
6. The Moshav Granola Son, who finds the murdering of innocent parsley stalks offensive
5. The "Scummy" Son, who is so bad that yeshivish girls can't help but find him attractive
4. The "Fallen off the face of the Planet" Son, nobody knows where he has been but always shows up for the holidays with new facial hair
3. The Feminine Son, who asks "Does anyone mind if I sing Mah Nishtana to the tune of Rent?" (Why is my son different from all other sons?)
2. The "I love long D'var Torahs so that I can brag to my friends how late my seder went" Son
1. The Miami Beach Sun

“With faith, there are no questions; without faith there are no answers.”-The Chofetz Chaim

Can’t we Stay Just a little longer?
The Haggadah relays that we had to leave hastily from Egypt (the first time we used the “religion” excuse to leave work early), for had we delayed any longer in Egypt, we would not have been rescued. Why the big rush? The Slonimer Rebbe explains that Moshe understood this concept from the burning bush. In Exodus, we find he approached out of curiosity to find out why the bush was not being consumed by the fire.(Similar to realizing your chometz aren’t burning because you wrapped them in tin foil)  Although there is no direct response to this curiosity, G-d tells Moshe to remove his shoes, for he is standing in a holy place. The Rebbe of Slonim teaches the burning bush showed Moshe an analogy to the Jewish people. Although they were in the fires of impurity in Egypt, they would never be consumed as long as they had a shred of holiness. When they were on the 49^th level of impurity, one level from losing all holiness, they had to be saved lest they become completely consumed by the impurity of the Egyptians.

So you might ask yourself: Why the big procrastination? Why couldn’t G-d have given started the salvation a little earlier? Heck, if we had enough time to let our dough rise, we could be eating bagels right now!

The answer goes back to the bush. A seed sprouts into a shrub after the seed has fully decomposed. To grow into a nation, and to withstand the many fires to come, the Jewish people had to decompose until the brink, and only then sprout strong eternal roots.

       “If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank”  – Woody Allen