7. Always have a 1985 Kings Dominion or Great Adventure Painters Cap for when going into irreligious settings, namely Shopping malls, Hotel lobbies or, G-d forbid, YU. Keep your Tzitzis and Payus out, no one will recognize you.
6. Always remember to mumble excessively, nothing says Yeshivish like incoherence.
5. Never make eye contact when shaking hands and your grip needs to be as lifeless as possible, giving off the confident impression that you are shaking hands with a highly contagious leper.
4. Using terms like "Boruch Hashem", "Bli Eyin Harah", "Bisiyata Dishmaya", "KalVechomair", "No Shaiychus", "Shtikel", "Bissel", "Al Achas Cama v Cama", "Nebech", "Laybedik", "Machair", "SuchaYenteh", and "Hocker" in excess and completely out of context when answering the formal "What's Doing?" line of questioning is ideal, immediately making all subsequent forms of Loshon Harah in the conversation completely permissible and gratifying.
3. Know every Avenue in Brooklyn and their associated restaurants; know nothing of Manhattan- except the Diamond District, Dougies and Yankee Stadium.
2. You must have a cousin named Shimmy, its an unspoken law.
1. Everyday is Vest day