10. Boruch sheptorani
9. He was always late to carpool
8. His arrogance was exceeded only by his homeliness
7. He grew up non-religious in Borough Park at a time was it was almost impossible to find treife food
7. His death was his biggest contribution to the community
6. It is my pleasure to bid him farewell
5. I was counting on his vote for my contract renewal
4. Compared to him, the rest of the congregation is tolerable
3. He never looked so good
2. His ex-wife asked me to send regards
1. Since he passed, I haven’t said Mechayeh Mesim like I mean it