TOP 10 Yiddish Expressions for JOE THE PLUMBER

1.  “Vos tut zich?”  (What's going on?)
     “The bathtub in the mikveh is cracked.”
     “Vos iz a mikveh?”

2.  “Bobe, you CAN locate your shutoff valve.
     “Gib a kuk.  Vos gikher, alts beser.”
     (Give a look.  The faster the better.)

3.  “Drainz?  Aroysgevorfen gelt.”
     (Drainz?  Thrown-out money.)

4.  “Backup, vider?”  (Backup, again?)
     “Gevaldikeh zach, shreklecheh zach.”
     (A terrible thing.)

5.  “Frozen pipes?  Nisht getrofen!”
     (So I guessed wrong?)

6.  “The garbage disposal is the origination
     of most Passover and Thanksgiving  
     plumbing problems.”
     “S'iz true.  Lomir redn fun freylikher
     zakhn.”  (It's true.  Let's talk about more
     cheerful things.)

7.  “The amount of water wasted because of
     small leaks is astounding. A hole the size
     of a pencil may waste 500 gallons of
     water a day.  The leak…'S'iz oys!'”
     (It's gone!)

8.  “Dripping faucets?  Makh nit keyn tsimes
     fun dem.”
     (Don't make a fuss about it.)

9.  “Zuntik rates.” (Sunday rates.)  $375 for
     the pipe corrosion.  Hey, I'm no 'gonif.'”
     (I'm no thief.)  I owe $1,200 in back
     taxes.”

10. “Lady, Is that a recorded message?
          CAN'T YOU REMEMBER TO PUT THE
          SEAT DOWN WHEN YOU'RE
          THROUGH?  HOW HARD CAN IT BE?