35. The Dead Sea is named after Chuck Norris’s enemies
34. Chuck Norris admitted he did not pack his own bags… still got on an El Al Flight
33. If Chuck Norris was in the 6-Day-War, it would’ve been called the 6-Minute-War
32. On El Al, Chuck Norris got upgraded to cockpit
31. You know those Red-String bracelets? They are made from Chuck Norris’s beard
30. When Chuck Norris is in Israel, Iron Dome is turned off
29. Chuck Norris didn’t climb Massada… he hurdled it
28. When Chuck Norris kisses Israeli soil, 20 Hammas terrorist tunnels collapse
27. Shakshukah renamed “Eggs Walker Texas Ranger Style”
26. There’s no longer any secret about Israel’s nuclear facility: It’s in Chuck Norris’s pants
25 Chafetz Chashud alarm goes off when Chuck Norris flexes
24. Chuck Norris’s tefilin are made from snake leather
23. Chuck Norris’ tears would bring the Moshiach. Too bad he has never cried
22. Chuck Norris method of proper Shechita: roundhouse kick to the head
21. Chuck Norris can make a minyan by himself
20. Claims of “Disproportionate Force” describe Israel, only after Chuck Norris lands in Ben Gurion
19. No El Al Plane has ever been hijacked since Chuck Norris did Delta Force
18. Chuck Norris does Hagbah and Galilah at the same time
17. You know what the Palestinian Terrorist said upon meeting Chuck Norris? Kaddish
16. Chuck Norris’s first time eating sunflower seeds lead to the unfortunate loss of Moshe Dayan’s eye
15. Chuck Norris doesn’t ask for charif on his falafel, he asks for falafel on his charif
14. Chuck Norris eats his shwarma directly from the spit
13. That’s not the pre-Shabbat siren. That’s actually just Chuck Norris yawning
12. Chuck Norris can smell shatnez
11. Chuck Norris goes deep sea diving in the Dead Sea
10. The Raid on Entebbe was actually planned based on Chuck Norris in Delta Force, not the other way around
9. Chuck Norris moved the US Embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem by throwing it there
8. When Chuck Norris puts a note in the kotel, he gets a response within minutes
7. Hashem doesn’t pronounce Chuck Norris’s name in vain
6. Rabbis wait on line to get a brocha from Chuck Norris
5. When asked about occupation by El Al security, Chuck Norris responds “Kicking Ass”
4. Jerusalem asks Chuck Norris not to be forgotten
3. Upon Chuck Norris’s arrival in Israel: The Israeli colors go from white & blue to black & blue
2. Mizrach is replaced with wherever Chuck Norris happens to be
1. Chuck Norris was begged NOT to buy property in Israel, so that the Western Wall could remain its holiest site