as seen in the JEWISH PRESS and JEWISH WEEK

40. The bright side is at least ive done chesed for the week. And next week.

39. Don't you dare order the steak

38. Nod and smile, nod and smile…maybe he/she has a good-looking friend

37. Did she actually say he was "Cute"??….. try "bald"

36. Is this waiter/waitress single?

34. This is way beyond "not shayich"

33. "Who let the dogs out" Tune repeatedly running through your mind

32. Please not Dougies- I don't think I can handle seeing every Jewish person I know again

31. This shadchan has some serious serious issues

30. Hmmm, should it be "feeling sick" or "family emergency" this time?

29. I can't believe I bought a new "Date" outfit for this!

28. Who knew that my roommate's mom's coworker's penpal had no idea what I'm looking for?

27. Anything else that will distract you from his/her monologue about favorite hand lotions

26. Briefly reviewing your "Top Ten Excuses to End a Bad Date" list

25. Wondering why the waiter wont take pity and just spill something on you

24. Deciding what to order that will give you the worst possible breath

23. Coming to the conclusion that if your shadchan deserves a gift for finding your perfect companion, he/she deserves the bill for setting you up with the exact opposite.

22. OK, the pocket Kahati is one thing but didn't anyone tell this guy not to wear his pocket protector on the date?

21. Not even her father can afford to get me on a second date.

20. I think I saw a window in the bathroom.

19. OK, how can I look at my watch without making it look like I'm looking at my watch? Aww, the heck with it…it's 8:37.

18. Shoot, she/he just caught me closing my eyes.

17. Never go out with someone you meet in a pet lovers online chat room

16.What time does Friends start?

15. What would McGyver do in this situation

14."There are more fish in the sea"…hit repeat, repeat

13.Please God make me a bird so I can fly far far away

12. How many halapinio peppers does it take to make me sick enough to leave

11. This would make a great romance novel. Man finds love during bad date. Keep your eyes open

10. I am so not getting onto OnlySimchas.com with this guy/girl

9. Please Please Hashem, let there be no one here I know

8. That's so weird, this ceiling has 48 tiles. Unlike the floor which has 47.

7. I now realize that "being set up" can mean two different things.

6. I'll just spell "help" out with my utensils and maybe someone will understand.

5. I miss work.

4. Yisurin shel ahava… Yisurin shel ahava

3. If I call myself on my cell phone, will it ring?

2. This girl/guy puts the "uch" in shidduch.

1. I will never ever trust my mother again