Al Chait chachatanu lifanecha…
18. For wearing colored shirts
17. For wearing white socks that one time it snowed
16. For always being last on line for mincha neigel vasser
15. For not being more makpid on washing neigel vasser 100 times a day
14. For not saying asher yatzar out loud more times to allow my fellow yidden the oppurtunity to say amein 100 times a day
13. For the sin of yeshivish phone sex – digesting a 900 meghrz portable phone while coiled in a contorted position in a corner of the room or hallway
12. For the sin of yeshivish phone sex – for devouring a star tac while pacing the alley between laurel hill and 186th at 1am
11. For using old mesorah tests and then writing a letter to the Commentator on why teachers are so lazy
10. For sleeping through kiddush and telling everyone that you "davened in that place with the old men"
9. For being oyver maris ayin by getting all dolled up at 11pm and going to the 11:30 maariv with a goofy grin giving off the impression of having just returned from a hot date
8. For removing that wedding invitation from the bulletin board cuz the jerk doesn't even go to yu
7. For not spending more time with my chaveirim at Shor Yashuv, Lander and Chaim Berlin.
6. For not having any chaveirim at Shor Yashuv, Landers and Chaim Berlin.
5. For not having any friends bichlal.
4. For not getting invited to meals on shabbos and then sneaking into the caf without paying
3. For bending on the kashrus policiy of not eating by so-and-so after finding out they also invited three cute bennet chicks for lunch
2. For trashing the upper west side profusely and then going down to check out the kosher bennet scene
1. Al chait sechatanu lifanecha Bzilzul Morim uMorim
also… for checking www.bangitout.com daily
click here for the Upper West Side AL CHAITS