10. Your definition of the 18 minutes means when ever you get out of the shower
9. You define kosher products with a Circle R, finding a K is mehadrin
8. You consider watching the Paris Hilton Video as an alternative to Choson/Kallah Classes
7. Your definition of a religious experience involves a bong and an Asian coworker named Sue
6. Washing/benching for bread is only on shabbos
5. When it comes to waiting between Meat and Milk, you assume you've got some Dutch blood in you
4. Dressing Modestly means wearing a coat over your halter top
3. Shomer Negiah means not making out when your religious friends are around
2. Concentration in davening means doing more than two shots at the Kiddush Club
1. Consulting your Rabbinic authority means logging on to bangitout.com