10. Styrofone cups…used for cold drinks
9. A personal shtender with an esoteric passuk engraved on a table and a metalic box of browned index cards of men's names who haven't davened there in 30 years is on the bima
8. Sticky white plastic tablecloths…slapped on every table exactly when mussaf kedusha is over to immediately start kiddush prep.
7. Walls covered with the following posters: Modim dirabban, Don't talk during Davening, Zman tefillah chart from 1989, Kabbalistic Hashem's name art positioned directly next to a 1984 cellphone company flyer, plus one pinned index card with the word “housecleaner” on it, below an out-of-service phone number on it (no matter what city you are in, the area code for that number must be 718)
6. Dated Image/Jewish Action/Siyum Hashas magazine with the Passover newsletter stuck inside
5. 1 artscroll siddur that is more beat up than a 1972 baseball glove
4. Oldest man you have ever seen with white beard. Probably moshiach, but everyone is too scared to ask.
3. Someone's Makom Kavua , which you are bound to sit in
2. The kitchen covered with the following: Vintage seltzer bottles, coffee grinds, Hot water earn filled with hot water from two weeks ago, coffee stained white sugar, reusable spoons, milk in the fridge that has a post-it on it: “Please Ask Reshus from ____ before using!!!!!” (avg. of 5 exclamation marks must follow any post-it message)
1. The sounds (davening), and smells (cholent), of heaven (in a basement)