10. We've got a gusher! Oh the blood's all over the keyboard!
9. I can't type and cut at the same time. Or can I?
8. I don't do Metzizah B'Internet
7. Where do you think holes in bagels came from?
6. Busy watching parents giving their kids traumatizing names
5. No, I can't sew it back on. Stop asking.
4. I work for tips. Leave me some.
3. Shul Hall Rental – $500
Bagel & Lox Platters – $400
Newborn outfits – $200
Realizing your son's penis is about to be snipped by me – Priceless
2. Need to be away. Some kids parents are after me!
1. Stop crying about your job. You think you work with a lot of d-cks. I know I do!