10. Your yarmulke is actually a Donald Trump toupee
9. The cab you just got in is advertised as “Rabbinically approved”
8. So nice to see the old Goldman Sachs minyan reunited
7. You sincerely thought that MAGA was the name of a Jewish relief organization
6. Your ‘Kushner Hebrew Academy’ sweatshirt is actually getting you chicks
5. 50% of people are applauding, 50% protesting… reminds you of every shul politics in America
4. You find yourself telling a Southern Baptist woman that you’re “You’re really shepping nachas from Ivanka’s dress”
3. Spot Jack Lew showing Jared where he stashes his spare pair of teffilin
2. Every other Jewish person you meet has some story that ends with: “…is best friends with Jared”
1. You’re on your 3rd Day of MAGA partying, and you realize: this is exactly how Megilat Esther started