Top Ten Signs You Did Not Leave The House Looking Like That

10.) You are observed walking around on Bleeker Street with your jeans rolled up, not because that's the trend, but because you forgot to unroll them after slipping off your skirt.

9.) You exit the Starbucks bathroom in a different outfit than the one in which you entered.

8.) You have a lawsuit pending against whoever invented the zip-off, multi-length skirt because they stole your idea.

7.) You are a big fan of the long down winter coat, Hot Topic floor-length black goth skirt, tank + button-down shirt combo, sarong in the summer, and forced speech impediments (meant to conceal the ubiquitous tongue ring).

6.) You keep an emergency denim skirt in the glove compartment.

5.) Neighbors note your parents have suddenly become a lot more lenient with your dress code…then realize it's July and they've relocated to the Catskills.

4.) While acknowledging they are a monopolistic rip-off, you nevertheless own a variety of $25 Linda Leal shells for temporary use beneath plunging necklines.

3.) Driving, talking on your cell phone and listening to 92.3 (before it sucked) while simultaneously slipping on a pair of jeans and wriggling out of a skirt, all without stepping on the brake poses no particular problem for you.

2.) You are on very intimate terms with the vestibule, foyer, coat closet, etc. of your house.