10. There are more Torahs than people
9. The only available guy talking to you is a 9 year old holding a torah flag from 1973
8. You've spent a good part of the last 2 hours reading Laughy Taffy Wrappers and translating Bazooka jokes from candybags
7. Due to low turnout, dancing in circles, reduced to dancing in semi-circles
6. Hilarity ensues when synagogue president sports both an Obamica and a Mccippah
5. Mixed Dancing actually refers to Ashkenaz and Sephardic minyans unifying
4. Congregants confuse Mi-Hu-Zeh song with Chad-Gad-Yah
3. Find out “Special Brownies” actually refers to the fact that they were baked only with Yoshon
2. You find yourself passing the time trying to envision what some of the chabad guys would look like without beards
1. Party could aptly be called “Who Didn't I Date or babysit in this Room?”