Try Saying__, Instead of Saying____

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer been tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible. INSTEAD OF: No f***ing way.
TRY SAYING: Really? INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh**ting me!
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with… INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh**
TRY SAYING: Of course I'm concerned. INSTEAD OF: Ask me if I give a sh**.
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project. INSTEAD OF: It's not my fu**ing problem.
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f**k you're doing.
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter. INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting bi**ch.
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive INSTEAD OF: He's a pri*ck.
TRY SAYING: I don't think this will be a problem. INSTEAD OF: I really don't give a sh**.
TRY SAYING: Yes, we really should discuss it. INSTEAD OF Another f***ing meeting!
TRY SAYING: I see. INSTEAD OF: Blow me.
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that? INSTEAD OF: Who the he** died and made you boss?
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge. INSTEAD OF: This job sucks
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand. INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a**.
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment. INSTEAD OF: F*** it, I'm on salary.
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it? INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a**.
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir? INSTEAD OF: Eat sh** and die.
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues. INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a**.
TRY SAYING: Are you sure this is a problem? INSTEAD OF: Who the he** cares?
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that INSTEAD OF: Why the he** didn't you tell me sooner?
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented. INSTEAD OF: This sh** won't work.
TRY SAYING: That's interesting. INSTEAD OF: What the f***?